The best intimacy does not involve a physical touch

November 19, 2014 by  

As we continue to focus on moving forward and growing in life, I believe it’s important to know the difference between feeling and touching. So many people are seeking a true connection with someone around them, but we have been looking at the physical versus the internal. We think having intimacy means that we are involved in purely physical activities, and I submit to you the least aspect of intimacy is the physical component. When you think about the concept of intimacy, into me see, it then becomes evident having a mental, emotional, and spiritual connection transcends anything that can be done externally. When we allow others, that are worthy, to understand the true person that dwells within us then there is a true level of depth and meaning to the relationship. When I speak of being worthy, I’m referring to someone that values you just as you are, and will not violate your trust and openness. People who are truly connected on an intimate level have unity, harmony, and can move mountains together. Our world is so superficial that most people will never be able to have true intimacy and will settle for an unfulfilling and un-redemptive encounters with those around them. So my challenge to all of us is to seek true intimacy and quit settling for intimacy-light relationships. There won’t be many truly deep and intimate relationships, but they will outweigh every other relationship you have combined, and these will be the ones that will provide you the most value, joy, and comfort on the path of life. Just like you can’t touch the wind, but you can feel the impact it has, true intimacy cannot be physically seen but felt like nothing you have ever experienced.

Filed under: Leadership

The benefits of accountability

November 4, 2014 by  

I am a firm believer that we surround ourselves with people who have similar values and outlooks in life. So take a look around you to see the types of people you are allowing into your personal space. There is an old saying that if you fly with the flock you will eventually have to spread your wings. So the point is that whether you agree or not with those in your group, at some point you will have to demonstrate attributes that make you look like the rest of the group. It’s like you hanging around people that drink alcohol, but you don’t typically drink, usually at some point you will begin to drink as well unless you are not careful. I encourage all of you to examine the people that you let in your circle, are they helping you move to excellence or staying in a stagnant place in life. I am writing this blog today because of a good friend of mine, Dot, who sent me a note today saying “where is my positive blog.” You see my friend Dot is a positive person and is all about pushing those around her to greater accomplishments. This is another example of how each of us should have someone around us to be accountable to. We understand that motivation starts from within, however, having the right people with similar views in life can help move you in the right direction when you don’t feel like moving. It’s kind of like having someone spot you when you are trying to lift weights, having them there will help you try to lift more because you know they’ll be there if you get stuck. So have sincere and honest conversations with those in your life and discuss goals and challenges you have, in order to better support one another through accountability. Walk it out together, with purpose, passion, and focus. Talk to you soon, and please give me your thoughts on accountability.

Filed under: Leadership

Make someone’s day today

October 23, 2014 by  

With so much going on our lives and those around us, it’s important to be reminded that we are not here for ourselves, but really here to be an encouragement to others. It’s amazing when you are going through a difficult time and run across someone you know and hear or see that they have been walking around with some tremendous burdens. Once faced with their situation, you are faced with a choice. Either focus on your circumstances or get out of your own head and be a blessing and light of hope and perspective to them; you can also help them in more tangible ways such as connecting them to or providing resources to them. I can recall recently thinking about things that really did not add value to my day, and then hearing from a friend who reminded me that others are watching and how we live our lives through adversity can help someone else along their path. I then began to reflect on the only person that we can really change is ourselves, so before I could try to make someone else’s day I began encourage myself on the truth that I am really blessed. Having each one of you in my life and being able to learn from you all is a gift that God has provided to me. As I counted the blessings that each one of you represent in my life I began to forget the small things that had caused me to lose focus. It is my hope that something in this blog will remind you that you are special, vital, and important to many people. So relax, reflect, and rejoice in the fact that your best days are ahead of you, and go out and encourage someone until you see the gleam of hope in their eyes coupled with a smile on their face. Once you’ve done that, you can rest knowing that you provided a glimmer of light and warmth to someone along their path, and for that I will be eternally grateful. Because it’s not about us, but it’s about making a difference in the lives of others. So be the change that you want to see in others and know that your labor is not in vain. Have a great day.

Filed under: Leadership

How You Handle The Word No

October 15, 2014 by  

If you talk to people who have made strides in their lives, you will find they had many peaks and valleys. Often the highest of highs are followed with the lowest of lows. It is my opinion that how you handle the no’s in your life will determine your level of achievements long term. It is amazing how a person can have many things go their way, and all of a sudden they are presented with a no from someone and can be stopped in their tracks. I can personally reflect on pursuing personal aspirations and not getting the desired response from people that I was hoping from support from. It was very difficult to refocus initially, but then I had to remind myself that my dreams may not be other’s dreams. The no’s in your life will reveal how committed you are to finishing what you started. It is important to learn from the no’s, because there are many lessons embedded in them. I began to understand that some of the no’s reflected that the time was not right. Then some of the no’s reminded me that I was not as prepared for moving to the next level as I thought that I was. Along the way I even discovered some folks were not going to be on board no matter what the situation was. The point is, no’s are just bumps along the road to the, YES, that will be life changing. Don’t dwell on the no’s too long, just take the time figure out the lessons that the no’s have within them and move on. The greatest out there have many no’s in their history and they pressed on to new domains. You have greatness in you, so don’t waste one moment on doubt, discouragement, or despair. You are one yes away from greatness. So keep charging, and have a great day and better week!

Filed under: Leadership

Pop Quizzes, are you ready for yours

October 8, 2014 by  

We have reflected on how when you are focused that your ability to overcome obstacles along your path is greatly increased. We also touched on the vital nature of Good Pain in your life as you continue to cultivate those attributes that will turn the good into excellent and the excellent into greatness. Today I want you to make your focus on being prepared for the pop quizzes in your life. If you think about the times that you were in school and you knew the dates for your upcoming tests that you were typically prepared. This happened because you had an idea of what was coming and even knew when it was coming. However, when the instructor came before you and said “class today we are going to have a pop quiz”, the looks on the faces on those in the class told the entire story. The students that were prepared hardly blinked an eye; then there were students like me that would take a big gulp and start to ponder how this could be a huge blow to my class average. Well life is the same way, we all have ideas of things that are going to come into play from a relational, financial, and work standpoint to name a few. Yet, there are those inevitable pop quizzes that come in many different forms. You may never be ready for them, but you can be prepared for them. You prepare yourself for them by taking every advantage of personal, spiritual, educational, vocational, as well as investing in yourself and those closest to you. So when the downsizing, family emergency, betrayal, financial hiccup, or whatever your situation may be you’ll be prepared to turn this potential roadblock into a stepping stone. For many the reason dreams are not realized is because people never pass the pop quizzes that come up in their lives. One other aspect of the pop quiz is that your opportunities may come in the form of a pop quiz. You blessing may show up when you least expect it, but if you have not invested in Good Pain as well as taking advantage of every opportunity that comes your way, you could flunk your pop quiz for greatness and miss your blessing. So embrace the quizzes as they come and the next time they come your way, just sit back and smile and say “bring it on”, as you use the unexpected moments to develop the champion within you.

Filed under: Leadership

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